News
Late last year, the internet discovered the sombre statistic that 88% of men only receive their first bouquet at their funerals, and only 12% receive flowers in their lifetimes. “What is the male equivalent of flowers?” the internet asked, and TikTok answered. Banana bread and steak dinners. But why do we need to look for an equivalent? Why can’t it be flowers?
@greekos_nikos Tell me someone else understands #fyp #bananabread
After a quick scan through a few reddits, one can tell that so many men found flowers a confusing, overwhelming and simply girly gift. In an attempt to answer if this still applies today, I reached out to 20 men, and asked them why it’s deemed awkward for a man to receive flowers as a gift. While some mentioned “societal misconceptions” and “outdated gender norms”, the general consensus was that flowers were primarily for women and there was a common belief that they are “unmanly”.
With men like Andrew Tate collecting over 10 million followers on X, and encouraging the ‘red-pilling’ of young men, toxic masculinity has made flowers a bigger issue. Perhaps this is because flowers have primarily been marketed towards women and terms like ‘for her’, ‘passionate’, and ‘elegant’, are used which contradict traditional views of masculinity. Most men have grown up to believe that flowers are “pretty”, and that liking them is a sign of femininity.
The word “soft” kept resurfacing in almost every conversation I had, used to describe both flowers and women, as though one was a reflection of the other. Kemal (24) explains, “There’s not a lot of expectation of ‘soft’ behaviour in the performance of being a man” explaining that “men would almost never get flowers for each other.” The irony of this is that “ We give those same flowers to men who die heroic deaths in war,” says Mikaeel (22) “It doesn’t make sense,” and its true – people comfortably place flowers on gravestones but never in the hands that may hesitate or refuse. So, maybe the issue isn’t about whose gifting flowers but rather men struggling to navigate receiving them.
@jacobwardfit I surprised my mate @danshrigley_ with flowers! He mentioned the other day that nobody has ever bought him flowers, which I’m sure a lot of you relate too! This is your sign to buy a mate some flowers 🌺
In search of the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift for a man, I asked them if there’s indeed an equivalent for flowers. Most responses emphasised utility as an important factor, such as sneakers, clothing, and home-cooked food (Kemal even said that “if someone I was seeing baked me banana bread I would devote my life to them.”). Others online saw the gift as a puzzling task where they would have to decipher what the colours and arrangement meant. A few found flowers “a waste of money”, and other were worried,“I’ve never received flowers, so I don’t know what I would do, and I’m also scared that the flowers will die really quickly because I don’t know how to look after them” For that reason, a lot of them don’t mind flowers that are maintenance free and everlasting. “Lego flowers” were a popular alternative (even though it really isn’t the same thing as actual flowers) or according to Mikaeel (22), crocheted flowers, “I really like anything handmade,” he says. “I’ve been blessed with a partner who’s so creative and artistic, and it genuinely makes my day when I receive one of her handcrafted gifts. One that really stands out was a bunch of crocheted tulips, which I absolutely adored. I think I love handmade gifts because they’re usually so perfectly curated for me, and they often include tiny little details about me or our relationship.”
The question of flower equivalency is not simply about finding the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day – it’s about the unspoken rules of manhood, where a bouquet can become a battleaxe. One reddit comment even said, “I’d probably marry her,” as though receiving flowers were such a radical idea it could only be met with lifelong gratitude. Perhaps the issue isn’t that men won’t like flowers, but rather that societal expectations have complicated the act of giving them. While we struggle under the weight of conventional gender roles, we’ve quietly curated a culture so afraid of vulnerability that we see it as a risk. It’s not that boys don’t like flowers, they’re made to believe so. But in any case, banana bread and lego flowers could save the day.
