Jonah Hill, Ezekiel Profit, Meaningful Existence
LOS ANGELES, CA – APRIL 07: Jonah Hill (L) and Lisa Rinna attend the game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Phoenix Suns at Arena on April 7, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

Have you accepted the word of our lord and saviour, Jonah Hill? Aka Ezekiel Profit?

The actor has finally capitalised (literally, in a sense but more on that double entendre later) on his current role as style setter and launched a line of good vibes threads called Meaningful Existence. At the centre of the project is Hill’s alter ego, wellness guru Ezekiel Profit whose skillset has been described as “renowned spiritual guru, master of finance, and world-class conch blower.”

The self-proclaimed “definitely not a cult”, Meaningful Existence’s aim is to “spread joy throughout the universe by monetising happiness”. Which, if you’ve ever even taken a deep dive into the wellness industry is pretty bloody accurate of the entire genre of practices. The pun is even in the name, as we hinted at earlier. A pisstake on the rise of the megachurch spiritual and health gurus and  who preach happiness and enlightenment at a cost.

Perhaps the best way to define what Jonah Hill / Ezekiel Profit / Meaningful Existence is about is to let them speak for themselves.

“Meaningful Existence is the lifestyle and wellness COMMUNITY founded, run, and ruled by Prophet Ezekiel Profit. Based on the teachings of Profit, WE HAVE one simple goal: to spread joy throughout the universe by Monetising Happiness. Here at Meaningful Existence, we believe that no one is born into happiness. You have to work and earn money, and then buy it. In a complicated world full of stress and doubt, we’re here to show you how much simpler things can really be when you allow us to take Complete Unrelenting Control.

So welcome, we’re happy you found us. We will be the shirt on your back, the sweatshirt on top of the shirt, the slides on your feet, the blanket that tucks you in at night and, most importantly, the smile on your face. Meaningful Existence is everything, everything except a cult. PURCHASE our products and see for yourself. To quote our leader, Prophet Ezekiel Profit: ‘Meaningful Existence is definitely not a cult. Welcome to the future. The more you pay, the better everything gets.'”


Beautiful stuff. Brings a tear to the eye.

Hill debuted the collection in full Profit get, including wig, at a recent L.A. Lakers game, alongside nefarious Real Housewives alum Lisa Rinna. The pair wore matching sweats and sunglasses as they sat court side.

While Hill is, perhaps not so coincidentally, currently slated to portray Jerry Garcia in a pending biopic on The Grateful Dead, here’s hoping that this isn’t just a sideshow piece to drum up interest in the movie. Because the clothes available on the Meaningful Existence website are genuinely fun. And cater to everyone.